Ahhhhhh! Last night I was finally back in class. It felt amazing to put on my leotard (and then hide it under cropped pants and a t-shirt) and my shoes and walk up to the barre. I still had to face the (soul crushing) mirror, but hearing the music and feeling the studio floor beneath me took away the pull of gravity. Thanks to plies and relevés to the timing of my Sonicare toothbrush along with my NYC Ballet workout, I was able to jump right back in with my classmates.
I feel like I can breathe again. I feel light again. And decidedly less melancholy.